Best Quote Ever.

"Do you ever just get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? you don’t want to smile, and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time, you don't know exactly what is wrong either. there isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. if you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. people have stopped being comforting.. and being alone never was. at least when you're alone no one constantly asks you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who wont take 'I don't know' for an answer. you feel the way you do just BECAUSE. you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait."

Bitter mood?

This is one of my new favorite songs, and the first song by Miley Cyrus that I've actually liked.

I've found music helps any mood, stops attitudes, etc... School starts in a week. Cannot wait <3

Feeling more 'cool'

So, I am so incredibly excited for this year to start, just for the fact, that I am no longer a little freshman. I'm a sophmore ;D And it makes you feel more cool, hence the title.

We won't be the scared, nervous, lost, puppy dog eyed, quiet, good freshie's anymore. We'll feel more ... powerful? Sure, it's still an lower classmen, BUT, we know our way, we know the limits, we know the teachers. And the best part is, going in the first day, you don't have to be so worried. I've met so many new people this year, that I am sure in every single class I have, I will know at least one person. That was probably the worst part of freshman year. You only knew people from your middle school, and you were shy. So in some classes, you were the loner. It happened to everyone, even people who you think know 'everybody', they still have their lonely moments.

I have a feeling this year is going to be a good year. Now that the first year of high school is over, we all turned into something we swore we never would, but still, it's not that dramatic. Some kids yeah, its worse. Such as, mm... 95% of the guys get cocky, over confident, rude, creepy O.o

But everyone manages. You begin finding true friends, you learn who you want to be friends with and who you know you need to stay away from. The worse part is over. We've gone through all that. And now it's just keeping up the ride the next 3 years.

I can't wait :)

McDonald Woods.

December 2006 I'm thinkin'. Memories are what keep us together <3

Up North

This past week I was in Minnesota with some of Katie's old friends, and their families. Delia, Ali, Drea, Sam, Dayna, Sam, Alex, baby Ayla, Cathy, and my family. We spent the time getting really close with them, as some people mentioned, it almost feels like family.

I saw the Mississippi River for the first time, well that I remember ;) We visited St. Cloud State University, saw where Katie went. It almost felt like she was with us, by our sides. It was a comforting trip.

I saw different sides of everyone that I hadn't seen before. I had a nice almost "venting" time with Delia. We had quite the adventure too. We went on this long walk through the woods where Katie apparently "dragged" her to after having Ali. We found a path leading off the main path, and of course, followed it. It led us through some shoulder high grass, pricklies, and mud. But soon enough we found the river! We had to slide down a steep hill to get to it, but it was worth it. It felt like something Katie would have done.

We also saw some beautiful gardens, the Munsinger Gardens. There was so many colors and different types. I even saw one called the Santa Claus flower. :) It was red with white around the edges of the leaves. Meanwhile all the little kids getting soaked in the water fountain.

Hmm, on the car ride there, we stopped at places we had stopped on our way to see Katie when she was in college.

All in all it was a well needed trip, with lots of fun included.

Minds.

How do our minds know stuff, when even we don't? How do they change our mood, when we don't even realize why, until we really think about it.

June is by far, the hardest month of the year. But I didn't even realize it was June, until I took a step back, checked out my mood, and thought about it... I've been quieter, slower, sadder, and I didn't know why. I was even getting mad at myself for it. How did my brain figure all this out without me having any idea?

It also explains these weird dreams. I've been having dreams, that I don't remember, but I wake up in tears, or a wet pillow. I only remember one dream, out of all of them. And of course, it had to do with Katie, and her death. I want to know how my brain can come up with all this stuff, without me thinking of it.

Even though I can't touch your face, I feel you with me every day, I wish you could see all my dreams coming true, When I get lost I close my eyes, And I feel you shining down so bright, I feel you shining down on me.

What I've Decided

I've figured out alot lately. Such as:

• I really really really really dislike The Hobbit. It is by far one of the worst pieces of literature ever written, and I don't understand why the heck it is in the FRESHMAN curriculum. Don't we have it rough enough as it is? I read one paragraph and have to reread it 10 times because I can't comprehend what I just read. Mind you, one single chapter is atleast 35 pages, and there are 20 chapters. AND next we have The Odyssey?! Hahahaha who do they think they are making us do this.
• I dislike cheerleading. Especially cheerleading coaches. They play favorites, they are JUST like stereotypical highschool cheerleaders (the kind I can't stand). I'm reallyyyy considering quiting, I will not last another year being treated with no respect like I don't matter.
• I'm done being a weenie freshman. Everyones just out to step all over you and eat your soul. But I'm trying my hardest not to let it get to me.
• Scary looking deans, actually are very nice and caring.
• I wasn't made for drama. I can finally admit, I am way more mature than a big chunk of my highschool, which suckssss a lot.
• I cannot stand pregnant english teachers. They piss me off. I want to bite them.