My Dreams

I had a really cool dream last night. I don't remeber the whole thing exactly though.
This is my dream:
"We were all I THINK at Grandma's house, and we were all balling our eyes out. I'm pretty sure that it was because John had just called us with the terribly bad news. So anywayz, we were all crying. (let me tell you that the house we were in didn't look anything like grandma's house, but it was her house.) And I decided to go down a hallway and be by myself (like i actually did when i heard). I was sitting on the floor soaking wet in my own tears, when out of nowhere Aunt Katie came and gave me a HUGE HUG!!!! she talked to me helped me calm down a little, not stop crying, just calm down a little bit. Then I walked back out to where everybody was, and Aunt Katie was walking with me. Nobody could see her, so they all thought I was going loopy talking to nothing, but I was talking to her. She sat there with me the rest of the evening while more and more people were arriving. She would talk to me, hug me, and I even sat on her lap. She went to sleep by me, but when I woke up in the morning, she was gone."

It was a great dream.

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Another dream I had was a few nights after her death. This is it.

"My mom and I were somewhere and as we were walking out of the place, I saw Aunt Katie. She was just standing there, and I ran up to her and hugged her and we both started cyring. Then we were hugging for about 10 minutes, and she whispered in my ear, "Be yourself, and nobody but yourself". Then about
5 minutes later she said, "I will wait for you". Then she said, "I love you". Then my mom made me leave because nobody but me could see her. So my mom didnt know. Then as I was walking away, she waved. Then she floated up and disappeared.

I love it... and now you know why I couldn't say it without crying. I told my mom and I started crying. Then I emailed it to your mom. They both loved it. And I told my mom that I think it was more of a message than a dream...and I hope it was.


As you can tell, I miss her. =]

New Video

I made another video with new pictures from Jenn Carlson. :)

Umm...

Ok, so everyone wants me to write more upbeat things about Katie, so here's is one. I am just making it up on the spot, so it might not be that good.

Her smile:
It was always comforting. She looked like she needed a bigger mouth for the width/height of the smile. It was sooooooo big and was almost always there everytime you looked at her. :)

Her laugh:
That is one thing that no one will EVER forget. It is probably the funniest laugh I have ever heard, (in a good way). It kind of sounded like she was hyperfentalating, laughing, and almost choking at the same time. That was the best. :)

Her attitude:
She was always positive, never negative. I dont thik I once heard her say something negative about anything, except herself. But whenever I would say something negative about myself in her presence, she would make me take it back, or say, "That is NOT true". So then she would make me say something positive about myself, then I would make her say something positive about herself. She helped anyone who needed help.

Her sense of humor:
She was very funny. If you were sad about something, she would have something to make you laugh or atleast smile. :) Almost all the time, she could make you laugh. I would say around 99.99 % of the time, she could make anyone smile.

Katie... Over All:
A kind a loving person. The best aunt/wife/daughter/sister/friend/cousin/anything else anyone could ever wish for.
We all love her.

Aunt Katie

I made this video all by myself!! :) I love it, and I hope you do too!

Where You Are

This is another thing I wrote. It makes me cry everytime I read it.
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Who knows where you are,

You rest somewhere unknown,

We have never felt so far,

And now I am all alone.

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When I wrote this on paper, I drew stars as the background, just so you know.
My uncle John inspired me to write all of these. :]

Good Bye

I wrote this while thinking the other day. In honor of my aunt
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You were always there for me.
Through hard times.
Through joyful times.
You made me feel "special".
You raised my self-esteem.
You love me.
You care for me.
You were always there by my side.
I miss you.
I love you.
It is so hard to say good-bye.
But now i must.
So here it goes.

"Good Bye"

Right Now...

OK, so i was just thinking and...

I MISS MY AUNTS HUGS SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!

I want to hug her really badly! RIGHT NOW!!!!


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Thinking of my aunt

It seems that ever since Aunt Katie is gone, she is the only thing I want to talk about, think about, and cry about. So I am going to write about her on here.

"Katie lived her life the way she wanted to. She did what she wanted to do, she saw what she wanted to see, and she helped wherever she could.
She was a friend to everyone. She was your shoulder to cry on, your motivation to do things, your reason to take off work/school, your reason to be happy and joyful… she was your friend.
Everyone who knew her, now has a huge whole in their hearts. It is a disappointment that she had to go so early. We wonder… why her, why now, why there, why, why, why, why, why??? If you believe that everything happens for a reason, what is the reason for this?
She has been an awesome role model for her family, friends, and anyone who just saw her. Everyone who ever met her is lucky.
She was that kind of person who always had something to calm you down if you were having a rough time. She was always there for you if you needed her.
Having fun was her job. Everywhere she went, she found something to have fun. Whether it was learning to sail, swimming, making something, hiking, or just even joking around.
I remember her asking me if I wanted to go on a walk around the block at midnight or later just because I “looked” sad, or that she just wanted to talk about things. When she was here last Christmas, we took a walk around the block around 11:00 to see all the lights shining bright. We will all miss those walks.
All in all… she played a major part in my life, and now I will try my hardest to follow her footsteps."

.I LOVE HER.