Easter.

Well, it's here. I have to say... it's a rather sad day (for me atleast). I'm not sure why. It's been a fine day. The sun is out FOR ONCE. It's not raining. It smells like a pile of burning leaves, and I love that smell. We went egg hunting and all. It's just, missing something.
This is the first Easter without Katie in 3 years. We went to Miami for Easter '05,
'06 and last year she came home from Romania. I know 2 of the pictures that were on the slideshow at the FIU event were from last Easter. The one that was her, my mom, and me all laughing was when we were dyeing Easter Eggs. I missed that. Last night, we were dyeing eggs here at grandpas house. I did something we did the last year in Miami. John had the idea that if we wrapped the egg in a paper towel then put it in different colors, it would turn out tie-dye. Well, it 'kind of' worked this year. The yellow was overpowered by the pink. So we had an orange-y egg. But all Hannah was worried about was if the Easter Bunny would know we were here, and not at home. Luckily, he found us. She was pretty funny. She would yell out "I'm gonna go get these ones" I told my mom "You don't really here how she talks (her grammar) until you repeat it yourself. Then you realized how 'bad' and funny it is. THESE ONES. :)
She had quite a time finding her Easter basket. She even found mine before hers. Hers was hidden harder than mine. Hah. I origanally had a huge soft duck in mine and she had a frog. But today she decided that she likes ducks better. So we switched before she started a fit. It all turned out good.
It just was missing Katie. She wasn't there... physically. And I couldn't see her. But I could here her voice. My councelor taught me how to talk to Katie. I use it alot. I'll say "Katie, I need you" and I will here her "Kayla, your doing fine. I still love you." I often here her when I do something. If I say something, or do something (good or bad) I will here her. Sometimes I will here "Great job." or sometimes "Kayla!" Haha. I can still here her saying "MICHELLE!". I remember that. Whenever my mom would tease me or Hannah (which she does quite often) ;) I can here her. "MICHELLE."
We found a video of us last Easter. It's really short. Like 5 seconds. All it is is Katie saying "Careful Careful CAREFUL" getting more and more tense while Hannah is dropping an egg into some dye. It's just nice to hear her voice. Her true voice. Fully there. In my head, it's still different. It's her. But it's quiet, or faded away. Thats it!!! It's faded. Which kind of sucks. The only videos we found with her is the Easter one, and one from Christmas 2006. She walks in the door and we have the video camera on her, and she goes "HELLO!" then my mom says "Oh and she primps for the camera" and Katie says "Yeah well you never stopped primping your whole life" And That's it. We got some of Katie's good old humor. I miss her alot.