Just Thinking

My birthday is in 5 days. In 5 days, I am going to be a teenager.
That really scares me. I don't feel like I want to grow up. It would be fun if I could be a kid forever. I'm starting to get a different perspective on things. I see things differently from how I used to. It's like my mind is growing more mature, when my heart is refusing. I can feel butterflies in my stomach when I think of things. In fact, a lot of things give my butterflies:

• growing up
• boys :]
• tests
• being REALLY happy
• when I have fun

Pretty weird. Sometimes I will just get butterflies out of no where.

My counselor taught me a new thing this week. She taught me how to make my brain and heart work together making happy thoughts. She hooked me up to a computer. Then it started to calibrate. At first, she told me just to concetrate on my breathing. She said my heart rate was extremely high. (I think it's because of my Cafe Mocha right before then) Then after I got my heart rate down, she told me to think of thoughts of love and appreciation. That would calibrate the computer, then make me go to meduim or high level. That is good. Your level goes higher the more you work your brain and heart together.

Then I played this "game" called the meadow game. I had to do the same thing, but as I got higher levels, the meadow would grow. It started black and white. Then I went to color, then it got a bunny, then deer, then a rainbow, then waterfall. I got all of them. :]

I was thinking of the time in "Katies Meadow" with John, Grandma, and Emma. Me and Emma stayed probably 50 -100 feet behind Grandma and John the whole time. We were "blessing" all the furry caterpillars so they wouldn't get squished by walkers. It was fun. We were naming all of them and throwing circles of pebbles around them. Then we laid down in the sun and almsot fell asleep. It was the best time of my life. Thanks Emma :]