Okay. This post is going to be about EVERYTHING in my life at the moment. The past 2 posts have been pointless and vague. This post is going to go into everything. All my thoughts, everything. I just don't know where to begin. Hmm...
I will start with the first piece of drama that has been going on for 2 months or more now.
It is with a girl named Emily. I have to say, we have been in fights and friendships atleast 10 times this year. Not just me and her, its between a few people. Me and my "friends" (I will get to the quotes later) finally got tired of her talking about everyone behind their backs. Whenever we were friends, she would talk about people. Like they had no feelings or anything. It was awful. I can't be around somebody like that. It made me sick. She even talks about her 'friends'. So we stopped talking to her. Now she is getting stupid. She keeps going to the dean saying we are doing stuff that we are not. Atleast I haven't. I don't know about my "friends". I haven't been with them that much. But 2 of my "friends" keep getting called down to the deans to talk about stuff. It's been like 6 times now. And Emily cries, so it gets everyone on her side. Really, she does stuff to us. She shoots us dirty looks and laughs at us and whatever else you can think of. Seriously... grow up. But yeah, so because we don't cry, the teachers are on her side. Whatever, I'm done.
Next is with the drama that started last night. This is where the quotes come in. My "friends" aren't my friends anymore. ;) They are all mad at me because of something I DID NOT DO. One girl named Emma got her first kiss Wednesday, but she didn't want anyone to know... so of course I wouldn't tell. I don't tell secrets. But somebody started a rumor that I did it, so they are mad at me. And I wouldn't really care, except they are mean about it. Like in gym, they would whisper in each others ears, then look at me and laugh. I cried so much today. I swear they have no feelings for others. I didn't realize it until now. Like the girl Emma told my real friend Katie "Oh yeah Kayla...? I F@#$ing hate her." So I guess she doesn't like me? That just gets me to cry too. Ohh, and she is cousins with the boy I like and who likes me. (: So I'm guessing she will tell him something which will make him not like me. If any of you are wondering - it IS nick who I went out with before. Yes, I like him again, he likes me again.(: We spent the weekend together with Emma. It was fun. He's really nice to me. I'm not gonna go all sappy and sound cheesy. But uh, I've realized something about "going out". It's just a label. Me and Nick kind of act like we are going out, we just don't put the label on it. I mean, whats the difference between going out and being friends? We talk like people. But anyways- I'm off topic. Back to the point, I have no friends at school. Pretty great huh? Argh. See, I know its my friends time of the month. ;) But I don't think that will change anything anyways.
Well, I might as well talk about the weekend. My four* day weekend. It started Sunday. Haha. Sunday I went with Emma, Nick and Angelica (our friend) to Emma and Nicks aunts house. More like farm. She lives on a farm. I've been there before too. It's REALLY fun. We go dirt biking and four-wheeling. So we get there sunday and immediatly get on the dirt bikes and quads. Then comes the fun part. Night was the best. Originally we had a 3 room tent where the 4 of us were going to sleep, but Angelica kind of peed her pants in it, and it was all over the floor. So then the 4 of us ran to the car in the pouring rain. We stayed in there for like 3 or 4 hours. Angelica and Emma sat in the front 2 seats, Nick took the back seat and I took the middle. Then we layed down the seats in the back and all 4 of us went in the back. Then Emma went back to the front and eventually Angelica went back too. Then Emma peed on the drivers seat. NOT ON PURPOSE.* She laughed too hard. Me and Nick were so close to peeing too, but we know how to old it. :D And it was POURING rain so we couldn't go in the camper. By the way, Emmas parents and little brother and his friend were in the camper, so there was no room for us. Haha. But yeahh, we REALLY had to pee. and the car got super hot. We were all sweating. Then I found a bottle of water and me, Emma and Nick poured it on ourselves. Man it felt so good. The whole time, we were constantly trying to roll down the windows and open the door. But everytime we put the key in the ignition, the stupid car alarm would go off. I'd say it went off 5 times during the night. So we were stuck with closed windows and closed doors. && we kept waking up her parents and we kept ticking them off whenever the alarm would go off. Then we decided we were all going to run back to tent and sleep there because we were too hot. And note, this was all at 2 in the morning. So of course, the last time we go out, the alarm Doesn't go off. Nick just opened the door and emma was waiting to press panic to turn it off, and it doesn't go off. then we all run out and run to the tent. But I had to pee, so I stopped at the camper and I guess Nick stopped in the forest. Haha. I didn't know that. So I got back to the tent and I was like "Don't you have to pee?!?!" and he goes "No I got it ;)" Haha. Then as soon as we hit the tent, Angelica passed out. She was so tired. Then emma took my ipod and turned it on full blast and put it in both ears. So she couldn't hear anything at all. It was just me and nick. At this point, we both knew we liked each other too. We admitted it to each other. Hah. So we start talking about the most random things. Like how the ocean is wet. ?? LOL but I feel really calm around him. You know when you go past a guy you like and you get all shaky and don't know what to say and your stomach just drops? Well I don't around him. I feel totally comfortable talking to him. I don't get nervous and blank out. I get butterflies(: But isn't that good? It sounds really weird and adults probably think that I shouldn't be that way yet. That I shouldn't be hanging out with boys or be comfortable around boys? But whatever. No we aren't THAT close. We don't kiss or anything, so don't worry. I'm happy. & so we are alone in the tent. Its pouring rain out, and occasionally lightning would light up the whole tent and you could see everyones face. Hah. We had no light in the tent. The flashlight died. So all we had was lightning. Oh and the whole time we were scared of Michael Meyers coming and getting us. AHHH. Then we both laid down. At first it went Angelica Emma Nick Me. But then I was on the wet side, and Nick kept asking if I wanted to switch with him, but I kept saying no. So then I went down by everyones feet. Then we both passed out. All I remember is Nick constantly kicking my arm and sometimes my head. Emma and Angelica didnt' move at all. I was so close to throwing a pillow at him. :D Then we woke up and Nick wasnt there. We came to find out he woke up and went in the camper. Then we all went dirt biking again. Then we came home. As soon as I got home, I took a shower, then fell asleep on the couch for 3 hours.
Then I stayed home Tuesday. I was really sore from dirtbiking. My back and arms hurt so bad. It was so hard to walk.
Oh and one more thing. For any of you who think I'm not okay or that I'm super depressed or that I'm suicidal or anything, I'm NOT!!!! I'm HAPPY. Oh and if you question it, don't go ask somebody else. Ask me. Text me(: I'm in control of my brain, my body. I know my thoughts. Others don't know what I'm thinking. But you all know I'm not stupid. I'm not going to hurt myself. First of all, there's no way in the world I'm stupid enough to do it, and second of all, I don't have the guts or pain tolerance to hurt myself anyways. But that doesn't mean I'm thinking about it or anything. I am 110% serious, I'm here to stay. I'm happy. Okay? Please & Thanks(:
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